Reason
by Rollingsushi
Summary: Shiki comes back from his hunt for Nano, only to be in turmoil. Akira is then asked what reason he has for staying with Shiki - contains yaoi no duh. May contain spoilers for Togainu no Chi. based on shiki's true ending.
1. Chapter 1

I twisted Shiki's ending a little. He doesn't manage to actually defeat Nano and….well read on I guess ^_^

p.s Im not sure if Keisuke dies in his ending but lets assume that he doesn't.

I don't own Togainu no Chi of course so don't sue. All thanks go to Nitro+ Chiral for such wonderful ero—I mean, exotic characters ^_^

P.S This'll be one of the only times you'll see Shiki so bummed out.

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**Reason- Chapter 1**

The morning sun light beamed through Akira's window. The wind blew gently across the surface of his face, cooling him down from his after-nightmare sweat. The mild sounds of swallows singing outside had served as a sweet lullaby to Akira and slowly he drifted off to another sleep…

"Akira, wake up."

His bed sheets were being pulled away from him but he held it tightly and stubbornly. "Argh, let me sleep for a little more…" He opened his eyes groggily but they snapped opened when he found a bloodied Shiki standing over him.

"Shi-Shiki?! What happened?? That's not your blood is it!?" He scrambled up in a panic but Shiki reassured him by saying 'no it's not mine.' He smiled his trademark smirk and sat down besides Akira, laying down his precious katana on the floor.

"That blood…it's from…?"

"Those disgusting junkies. I killed them of course." He chuckled and shook his head. "Every time I smell one of those damned Line users… my arm just reacts by itself and before I know it, their bodies are skewered before my eyes."

Akira gulped and shrank back into bed. _God, damn he can be scary…I wonder if he'll go for me next…_

"Why were you out late again… I thought you didn't run errands for Arbitro anymore."

Shiki snorted and turned to Akira. "He has that mutt of his to run his errands. That poor, sick, pathetic dog. Maybe I should relieve him of his pain as well."

Akira noticed by the tone of his voice that something was wrong with Shiki. His voice lacked confidence and pride, something that Shiki always –_always_- showed. So why was he like this? Akira got his answer soon enough.

"I met Nano…"_Ohhh that explains everything._ "I…we fought and I thought…no, I _knew_ I could win this time. But he must've cheated because of that monstrous power he has. He couldn't have…how did he get me…?"

Akira's eyes landed on the blood trickling down his neck and clothes. "That…wait, THAT'S YOUR BLOOD??! Shiki! Why do you never tell me the truth?!" Akira rushed over to his medical cabinet and quickly pulled out a roll of bandages, a towel and some disinfectant. He returned to Shiki's side and was about to treat him when Shiki grabbed his arm. He pulled Akira closer to his face, almost as if he was going to kiss him but he didn't.

"Akira, I want to ask you…why do you stay with me? I've already told you that you're free to go anywhere you wish to. You don't have to remain at my side anymore because…there's no reason to." Shiki took the towel from Akira's hands and started wiping the blood off him. "You can return to your beloved boyfriend if you wish to…"

Akira's eye twitched. "Keisuke is not my boyfriend. And would you mind not talking like a jerk." He paused, holding out the bandages for Shiki. He smiled and lifted his head slightly. "You've changed a lot, Shiki. You've grown up a little and…maybe _even became more considerate about others_." He mumbled the last few words. Shiki threw the bloodied towel onto the bed and took the bandages and tended to his own wounds. Akira watched silently at his graceful movements, all the while pondering about his reasons for staying with Shiki. He thought he had a pretty good reason but somehow his mind didn't generate one now. It was as if he didn't want to admit to anything.

"Nano…" Shiki abruptly muttered, getting Akira's attention once more. "He's always looking down on me. All I am to him is a mere interference but one day…," his voice gradually increased, "One day I'll kill him with my own blade for sure! I _will_ kill him. I know I can! Why else would I still be alive in a society like this!?"

It was the second time Akira's seen Shiki panic; the first being the first time he lost against his rival, Nano. Almost nothing could break Shiki's shell. He held no fear, no doubt or hesitation about anything but when it came to Nano…it almost as if the Il-Re Shiki was all but a horrible legend.

"Shiki…?" Akira was cut short when Shiki stood up suddenly and announced he was about to go search for Nano again.

"This time I'm going to do it. I'm sure this time I won't fall for his dirty tricks. Just you wait Akira and I'll bring back his head."

"Wait! Shiki, no!" Akira grabbed Shiki's arm and forced him to face him. "Just what do you think will come out of this?! What good will come out of this fight with Nano?! I know him…he's too strong, even for someone like you Shiki."

Upon hearing this, he glared daggers at Akira and pulled away from him. Akira nearly stumbled but regained his posture. Shiki started barking at him. "No, you don't understand! If I can't kill this man, I will forever remain like this – weak, pathetic and at a loss. I must kill him, Akira. He is the sole reason I'm still here, standing and alive. I'm the only one who can do this. If it wasn't for his tricks I… I know he was cheating. Even with my strength…I can't even scratch him!"

_Wow._ Akira thought. He couldn't believe Nano had the power to reduce Shiki to…this childish, immature form. It was a figure that anyone could make fun of and laugh at. But Akira wasn't laughing. Instead he felt pity. The sight of Shiki's pathetically sad and irritated face made Akira heart-wrenched. This wasn't the Shiki he knew and admired.

"You don't have to hunt him down. There's no point!" Akira was trying to convince him to stop his mindless chase. "Even if you do kill him…what will happen then?!"

"The future will decide that!" Shiki had his face lowered as he pushed aside Akira. He was storming out the door but Akira had grabbed the tail of his coat, preventing him from leaving. It angered Shiki even more as he sneered aggressively towards him. "Let. Me. Go."

"Hell no! You're just gonna get yourself hurt again. Don't you realize how stupid your actions are?! All you care about is Nano! Nano this, Nano that! It's starting to get on MY nerves!" Akira wasn't so sure if he was feeling jealousy or not. He sure hoped it wasn't. "Shiki, stop chasing him. You're going to break."

"Break? What are you talking about Akira?!" He lowered his eyes to a mean glare. "Last warning. Let go of me or I'll punish you."

_Habits never die huh?_ "You don't own me anymore Shiki. You can't tell me what to…"

Before he could finish the last of his statement, Shiki had his blade at Akira's throat. He was serious. "I won't let anyone stop me. Not even you…."

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Next chapter is coming up pretty soon… I wonder what's going to happen.

~ Kuroki~


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all the favs. Really made my day ^_^. So here it is, the 2nd and final(??) chapter of "Reason". Apologies for the lateness. I kinda had writer's block ( I know, I know~ it's a sad, pathetic and overused excuse)

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He lowered his eyes to a mean glare. "Last warning. Let go of me or I'll punish you."

_Habits never die huh?_ "You don't own me anymore Shiki. You can't tell me what to…"

Before he could finish the last of his statement, Shiki had his blade at Akira's throat. He was serious. "I won't let anyone stop me. Not even you. I'll rip out your throat if you keep this farce going."

Akira didn't even flinch. He knew Shiki wouldn't kill him but there was still a chance he may get hurt. "Sorry," Akira apologized and closed his eyes, "…but I don't want to see you hurt again." Akira pushed Shiki's katana away from his throat and embraced him. This sudden act of compassion completely paralyzed Shiki.

"A-Akira, what the hell are you doing?!" He dropped his blade which clattered noisily, making dents on the floorboards, and then took a step back. "Y-you're crazy. Don't sympathize with me. You're only rejected property…" he choked a cry. Upon hearing this, Akira smiled and caressed Shiki's back.

"The reason I am staying with you… is because I want to." He looked up sympathetically into Shiki's eyes. "If you died, where would I go? Keisuke hates me now, and Rin and Motomi wouldn't welcome me with open arms because they know I'm in cahoots with you."

"Then why did you bother staying here? Why did you choose to stay with me? I treated you like crap. You had to take my bullshit everyday (_so he even admits it)_ and I forced you to do some…cruel things." Akira could hear Shiki swallow, and could feel his strong arms pushing against his back. "I…I'm thankful you're still here for me but…I can feel my own life force fading."

Akira shook his head. "It's fine like this. I'll stay with you until one of us dies."

"You…idiot," and with that Shiki couldn't hold his urge to kiss Akira; the only person in the world that had ever been there for him. The only reason he was still standing with head held high was because Akira was there for him. Every time no matter what it was for, Akira would always await Shiki's return.

The kiss was hot and intense. Akira could feel the searing heat of Shiki's lips as he was swallowed whole. It was as if the heat was being transferred from mouth to mouth, and it simply melted his heart. Shiki slipped his tongue into Akira's mouth, searching desperately for his tongue but he pulled away briefly.

A whisper escaped Shiki's lips. "Sorry".

It came as a complete shock to hear Shiki utter that one word. Akira wasn't sure though if Shiki was apologizing for the kiss he gave just then, or for what he had done in the past. He could've been apologizing for his stubbornness from before and for not listening to Akira's words, or maybe he was apologizing for the time he nearly killed Keisuke.

Or maybe that 'sorry' accounted for all the wrong-doings he had done in the past.

Shiki shoved Akira onto the bed, holding him tighter than ever without the slightest intention of letting go. He slipped his fingers underneath Akira's shirt and pulled it over his head.

"Shi-Shiki, but-"

He placed his index finger on Akira's mouth and hushed him. "It's not like I haven't done something like this to you before."

Akira couldn't help but snicker. "But for once you're being gentle, Shiki. It's kind of a strange feeling - wah!?" Shiki shoved Akira against the mattress and kissed him furiously. He slipped his tongue into Akira's mouth, searching for the other's own tongue. Their mouths were completely locked as if they fitted perfectly together, and it was one of the sweetest moments they've experienced after so long.

Their lips broke apart for a brief moment for breath. "Shiki, will you stay with me always? I love you too much to be apart from you. Every time…" Akira paused and closed his eyes for a brief moment, "Every time you go out to hunt down Nano I get so worried. I always…"

Shiki placed his fingers onto Akira's lips to stop him from speaking further. "I'm truly sorry for worrying you but there really is no reason for you to worry about me. Who do you think I am, hmm?"

Akira smiled, reassured. "I know, I know. You're Il-Re… and Arbitro's obedient lapdog." He laughed.

"Hey!" Shiki frowned at Akira's remark. "I broke all my ties with that disgusting pig. Do not mention his name to me ever again, Akira. Understand?"

"Understand what?" Akira pouted and chuckled. "Oh, come on it was a joke. I can't believe you took that seriously Shiki."

"Yeah? Really, a joke? Hmph!" Shiki's fingers glided down Akira's hips and moved towards the groove between Akira's legs. A lustful smirk appeared on his face, anticipating the fun he was going to have with his Akira. He lowered himself onto Akira and whispered into his ear. "I don't take mockery lightly."

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The curtains had been closed, filling the room with darkness and the sounds of two men moaning. Akira had his clothes stripped from him so that Shiki could fully lavish the other man's sweet and succulent body. His body was already exhausted and small droplets of sweat trailed down his skin. Shiki never let go of Akira ever since they had started and now he was holding firmly onto Akira's hips and biting his neckline, whilst Akira held tightly onto Shiki's back. The sounds of sweet moans escaped Akira's lips, turning on Shiki even further.

_Oh, god if I can only make this last forever…_

Laying eyes on Akira's erect member, Shiki whispered huskily into Akira's ears. "I believe you're ready for a third round, Akira. You're extremely wet right now and I don't want to waste the chance." Shiki waited for Akira's nod of approval but he didn't reply. _Still not ready? Fine then I'll make you ready._ Shiki lightly caressed Akira's heated member and purposely rubbed only the tip of it, causing Akira to flinch violently. His pants were more frequent and hinted a sign of exhaustion but Shiki completely ignored it. He didn't want to stop, even if it was for Akira's sake. He wanted to satisfy his own lustful desires.

He held onto Akira's side and turned him over, slowly moving on top of him.

"Shi-Shiki, wait –ugh- wait I said," Akira winced as Shiki fingered his hole, "Shiki, let's –ugh- take a break. I can't keep this up. Mmm, please Sh-Shiki?"

"One more," He slid another finger inside Akira's rear end, "Don't make me stop in the middle of this, or I swear I'll…"

"You sound scary all of a sudden, Shiki." Akira turned his head slightly and looked over his shoulder. "I just need a rest. My body can't take that much strain –ahh- s-stop that! Take your fingers out damnit! I mean it!"

Shiki rolled his eyes and slipped his fingers out. "You're not the one in control here, Akira. **I am.**" He grabbed Akira's hips and slowly entered him, but Akira began protesting.

"No, no stop! Three times in a row is too much for me! I won't be able to walk again for a long time if my ass has been constantly crushed by your--"

"One more time won't hurt. Your ass has already been through a lot anyway. I'm sure it can take one more." Shiki smirked at his own sly remark. Unfortunately Akira didn't take the matter lightly.

"You bastard!" _That was not a nice thing to say._ "Don't make me remember all those other times you tortured my ass. And to think those other times were forced too…"

_Oh shit,_ Shiki realized what he just did. _I've ruined the mood now. I've gotta calm Akira down or he's not going to be this obedient to me again._

"I-I'm sorry." He hastily apologized. "I take that back. I don't mean to hurt your feelings by bringing those matters up. That was…reckless of me."

Akira seemed to have forgiven him as he uttered a tiny giggle. "It really is a strange feeling…to be given an apology by the likes of you."

Shiki blushed intensively and smiled. "Well, if it's you then I can do it…without much shame."

"Thanks Shiki. I really…do love you after all." Akira scrambled up, wincing at the pain that developed at his rear end. "Will you…stay besides me?"

"Hmph, what kind of question is that?" Shiki smirked devilishly, wrapping his arms around Akira. "Even if you didn't love me, I still wouldn't let you leave my sight."

"Psh, that wasn't what you said before." Akira stared deeply and lovingly into his lovers eyes. Eyes that were full of crimson passion and possessiveness. "I love you."

Shiki lowered his eyes and smiled a genuine smile. "I…you really want me to say it don't you?"

Akira laughed. "So you saw through me? Haha, I know you'll never say it."

_Oh yeah? I'll prove you wrong._ "I love you too Akira." Before Akira could react, Shiki shoved him back down onto the mattress and kissed him. Akira responded by slipping his tongue into Shiki's mouth, searching for his tongue. Their bodies rubbed intensively against each other, making both of them hard again.

"Ugh, Shi-Shiki –ahh," Akira moaned, grasping tightly onto Shiki's shoulders. "I –mm- can't hold it in."

"Then come already." Shiki chuckled. "But do remember that the price of coming too early is 'you-know-what-will-happen-to-your-ass' time."

Akira groaned. _Very funny._

"_I guess Shiki's smugness will never go away."_


	3. Chapter 3

_A year later…_

The curtains flapped gently as the cool winds blew through the opened window. It was the beginning of autumn; the weather refreshing and welcoming. Shiki was sitting on that one bed like every other day, sitting unmoved and at peace. His head was tilted towards the window; his eyes staring out into the wilderness. What exactly was he searching for? Something he longed for? Or something he lost? Akira entered the room holding a tray of oat porridge. He sat besides Shiki and placed the tray on his own lap, fixing Shiki's shirt and blankets.

"Shiki I've brought some food for you. Are you feeling better…?" Akira started but he knew his words would never get through to Shiki. He swallowed the lump in his throat and forced a smile. "Umm…it's processed food but it'll be easier for you to swallow." Akira looked sadly at Shiki. He was unmoved and still, like a corpse. His ebony hair, once beautiful and silky, had become dull and disheveled. He was bony and stiff, and his skin was pale and almost translucent. Shiki's lifeless eyes left no trace of his soul behind. It was as if only an empty vessel was left behind…to torment Akira and remind him of the fact that Shiki was no longer in this world.

_NO! It's not true!_

"Shiki…please, say something," Akira desperately pleaded to the unmoved Shiki. "You're only ignoring me right? Right? Did I somehow annoy you? Are you angry at me? Please…Shiki…" He placed his hand below Shiki's chin and slowly moved his head so that they were facing each other. _I'd give anything just to hear your voice again__._ Akira kissed the unmoved Shiki, hoping to get a reaction from him but to no prevail. Instead what he got was the uncomfortable feel of a cold marble taste from his frozen lips. "Shiki…please, say something to me. Speak my name. Yell at me. Kiss…me."

The throbbing ache in Akira's heart remained, permanently and etched deep within. He wanted so badly, so desperately for Shiki to return to his life but wishes meant nothing. No matter how much he yearned for his partner's presence, no matter how much he craved for his taste, Akira knew Shiki wasn't going to return to him any time sooner. He was in a permanent state of comatose and was completely exhausted of life. "Why…why are you the first to depart from this world? I wanted to die protecting you Shiki. I wanted to experience more from our lives. I wanted us to live together…"

Akira climbed onto the bed and held onto his partner's cold hand tightly, hoping for a miracle to happen. He shifted himself right next to Shiki, embracing his arm. He could hear faint breathing but that was all he ever heard from him. The man's tears trickled silently down his cheeks, soiling the bed sheets and their clothes, but he could not help it. The pain and longing in his heart wanted to be relieved. It wanted its simple wishes to be acknowledged but the Lord gave him no mercy.

"I don't want to be alone again." Akira silently wept.

A/N ah, so sad T.T~~ but I am very happy to see all those favs ^_^ I' love to hear comments as well (to improve my awful writing.) This was actually supposed to be a 2 chapter series only but wow, doesn't seem like it huh.

~~Suzu-kun (kun because I was a man in my dream)


	4. Chapter 4

Happy for all the favs 8D!! My love goes out to all you people and of course to Shiki and Akira T_T~~ Soooo sadd puuu~~~ I think I'll refrain from writing anymore angsty stories revolving around these two.

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_Six months ago…_

Akira's stomach churned with anxiety. The hairs on his arms and back tingled, causing him to shake violently. It felt as if he had lost something dear to him; something irreplaceable to him. He mentally heard something shatter inside of him and from a far distance, call out his name…

"Akira!"

The grey-head snapped out of his momentary trance, his impulsive movement suddenly frightening the pigeons that had previously perched on top the branch. The transparent leaves fell distractively between the two lone men who were both lying on their backs, their eyes taking in the beautiful scenery of clear blue skies. Such perfect weather was so rare in Toshima that most people have forgotten what the blue sky even looked like.

Akira's heart nearly leapt out his chest when Shiki jerked at his arm. "Hey, you gonna tell me why you brought me here?"

The grey-head turned his head groggily towards Shiki, placing his bare hand on his in return. "Sorry...I just wanted to do something different today." Akira pointed towards the sky. "Look…It's been so long since I've seen such a pure blue sky."

"What are you on about?" Shiki sat up and looked irritatingly at his partner. "This is boring. Hey, Akira, can we do something fun?" His trademark smirk appeared on his face as he stared seductively into Akira's eyes but disappointment crossed his face when his partner shook his head.

"Sorry, maybe not today, hmm? I just...want to sit here with you and watch the clouds roll by."

"Hmph, what's gotten into you?" The pale man mumbled under his breath, averting his gaze back towards the clear skies. After a few moments, he chuckled abruptly out of now where, startling Akira. "It's amazing...never once have I seen such beautiful weather in this shit hole. Maybe it's the beginning of the end, wouldn't you agree Akira?"

"What do you mean?" A dreaded look of concern appeared on the young man's face as he sat up, staring intently into the other's eyes. "You make it sound as if…"

"Have you heard the rumours about the definite evil that lurks in Toshima?" Akira shook his head and shifted closer to Shiki, curious about what he has to say. "They say after evil had befallen Toshima, the skies turned grey and the people became corrupt with greed and power. Dirt was ash and water became blood. There was no happiness, only pain and sorrow." He turned away from his partner and gazed at the sky, lifting an arm up as if to reach it. "This sky…it may be God's message to everyone that the evil is disappearing…"

Akira rolled his eyes and playfully punched Shiki's arm. "What the hell are you talking about? There is no God; at least not in Toshima. The only one that could even come close to being called a 'God' would be Il-Re, and that's you."

"Haha, a god am I? No, Akira. People in Toshima only know me as the most evil entity around here."

_The most evil entity…?_

"I don't blame them for it, though," the man's scarlet-blood eyes lowered to the ground, as if to hide regret. "I have killed countless people and have taken joy from it as well. Maybe the sky is clearing because my time of reign is nearly over."

The look of sincere regret and sorrow on his face angered Akira. "What's wrong with you? It's like you're not even yourself anymore!" A gasp escaped his lips. "You're not thinking of leaving me are you?!"

"That's ridiculous!" The ominous man leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Akira tightly, burying his hands into his silky grey hair. He clung almost desperately to his partner, as if Death was about to take him. He laughed his worries away. "I told you already. You belong only to me! I will never EVER leave you!"

"Yeah, yeah I know. You told me that already." Akira tried to address the matter coolly but ended up blushing anyway. He quietly enjoyed his partner's intimate embrace but grew agitated when Shiki did not release his grip on him. "H-hey, you can let go now. Shiki?"

"Let me just hold you…just a little longer…" The man feared as Il-Re sounded almost sombre. His voice was still stern though it lacked the dominating feel to it. It was almost as if the 'Shiki' Akira knew was slowly diminishing. His presence, his place in society…it was disappearing, and it terrified Akira.

"Shiki, you're scaring me. Is everything alright? Are you…okay?"

Akira felt his partner nod on his shoulder and smile. "Yeah…sorry… Sorry about everything, Akira."

_He's apologizing…something he rarely does…_

"Hey, cheer up man. It's a beautiful day, the breeze is nice and no one's being a dick. Let's just enjoy it while we still can."

"Ahaha, of course." Shiki pulled away from his partner and chuckled humorously, his trademark smile appearing on his face once more. "But next time let's do something I want to do."

_Ugh…it's something involving me…in bed…naked, again…_

"Anything for you, eh? You better go easy on me, you friggin bastard, because last time hurt like hell. And don't get me started about the time you did it in the kitchen…"

Shiki simply grinned, not saying a word in response, obviously having other plans in mind. He leaned forward again and pressed his lips against Akira's gently. "Hey, who's the boss here, hmm?" Without waiting for a response, he kissed his beloved passionately; the kiss hidden behind the shadow of falling leaves drifting slowly towards the ground as if to make it a scene from a fairy tale. Together they remained there until night fell then returned to their home, feeling content about the day they spent as one. Of course, the words Shiki left behind remained etched into Akira's unsettled mind. His stomach began to act up again. He was anxious again…fearful for something that cannot be seen…

_If only I knew sooner what Shiki was hiding from me…_


End file.
